Like the mighty phoenix, I too, shall rise above.

One of the first things that drew me to Mark was his ability to rise above petty squabbles.

I remember being in a meeting with him at work where a few of our co-workers were in a heated debate. They were all passionate about their points of view and volleyed barbs and jabs back and forth for a rather long time. (In Meeting Time, one minute equals exactly 90 days, so 20 minutes spent beating a horse to death is an eternity.)

The whole time, Mark sat quietly. Just listening. When everyone had thrown their two cents in, and had, effectively run out of steam, Mark finally opened his mouth and spoke.

He didn't say anything revolutionary (sorry, hon), but when he spoke, everyone listened intently. Because he hadn't participated in the squabbling, when he spoke his mind, he came off as wise and insightful.

He'd risen above and stayed out of the fray.

It reminds me of the saying when buying a car: He who speaks first, looses.

It's a skill I'm working on.

I guess I just love a good debate. I'm not always out to win, or push my opinion on others, but I like a spirited exchange - as long as it's kept professional, respectable.

Well last night, I evoked the powers of the mighty phoenix (Mark) as I went to my first council meeting at church. Up until last night, I had no idea of the inner politics, turf wars and egos at play.

I sat quietly as they met - appropriate to do so when visiting for the first time - and watched The Dance. Issues were skirted. Chests were puffed. Noses were thumbed. (Metaphorically, of course.) I watched it all, somewhat shocked and surprised. Disillusioned, even.

I resisted the urge to jump into the conversation. I literally sat on my hands, keeping my mouth closed, in an effort to not appear impulsive or reactionary. I listened. I kept my nose clean.

Finally, when the 15-minute debate over what time the kids choir should meet (seriously) wound down, a woman turned to me and asked me what I thought. All eyes were on me as I shared my perspective as a parent. And one by one, heads started nodding in agreement. Nobody challenged me. Nobody tried to impose their opinion over mine.

Holy shit. It really works, this 'rising above' thing.

I think it's going to be my new mantra. Stay out of the fracas and rise above. With work. With my ex. With the kids' school.

I too, shall rise above.