The kitchen fridge.

Thinking back to when I was a single mom, wholly responsible for three kids under five while working full time -- I'm amazed that I survived.

I remember collapsing into bed night after night, sound asleep the instant my head hit the pillow. Each day I would:

• Get up at 4 a.m.
• Get the kids off to daycare.
• Commute 45 minutes to make it to work by 8:30.
• Work til 5.
• Speed back to daycare to get the kids before they closed at 6.
• Feed, bathe and play with the kids.
• Get everyone off to bed by 8:30.
• Get up one or two times during the night with Crowbar (he was just a baby).
• Get up at 4 and do it all over again.

That's when my 45-degree rule began. (If my head drops below 45 degrees, any time, any place, I'll be sound asleep in seconds.) Every bone in my body was exhausted. All the time.

And there's the lonely factor. At the end of the night, there was nobody with which to share the highs and lows of the day. Nobody to rub my shoulders and tell me I was doing a good job. Nobody to take the first shift and get up with the baby.

And there was no time to pursue hobbies or interests. I'd run my hand over beautifully made quilts and vow some day to learn. I'd envy friends who would whip up homemade cookies on a lark, marveling at when they'd found the time. I never had the time for any extras. I was just focused on meeting the kids' basic needs -- an all-consuming job.

My quality of life nearly five years later has dramatically improved.

For one, the kids are older and more responsible. Just this month, the twins now nine-years old, are able to get in and get showers with little or no guidance from me. They can do their homework with little assistance and are able to pick out their own clothes in the morning.

Crowbar a happy preschooler, is amazingly low-maintenance. He can get up, dressed and brush his teeth with very little prodding. And he's a kid who's content to play by himself with a Matchbox car for hours on end.

I've traded the 45-minute commute for one that's 20 minutes and now work for a company that allows me to offset my hours so I can get home by 4 p.m.

Making dinner is less of a chore. (It's fun to cook when you're not so pressed for time.) And having another grown-up in the house, someone who won't complain about the onions in the meatloaf at dinnertime, has its distinct benefits.

Which leads me to life with Mark...

Five years ago, I thought I'd be alone forever. I never dreamed that I'd have a new love, a new best friend, who constantly surprises me with his dry humor, unending patience and gentle hand. After a sad and lonely first marriage, and then a sad and lonely three-and-a-half years alone, I don't think I'll ever take him or his companionship for granted.

I just don't think it's possible.

So now that time and loneliness are no longer the enemy, I've began focusing on activities that interest me. Sewing, knitting, photography and cooking for fun (not just to get something hot and healthy on the table) give me immense pleasure. And I think that this blog will begin to reflect that.

When I was a kid, I'd proudly post my accomplishments on the kitchen fridge. Now, as an adult, this blog will serve that purpose. And I hope, that like when I was a kid, my projects will get better and better along the way.