A Mother of a Day.

Despite my husband's best efforts, Mother's Day 2011 fell short of my expectations. When asked how I'd like to spend my special day, I told him I had three simple requests:

I wanted to be...

1. Showered with love and affection.


2. Taken out for a nice meal, preferably flautas at my favorite Mexican restaurant.


3. Allowed an afternoon nap.

Simple, right?

Initially, I was showered with love and affection. Each of the kids greeted me with a hug and wished me a happy Mother's Day. Crowbar even asked why I hadn't stayed in bed so they could take care of me all day. (Thoughtful!) But the niceties soon wore off and the bickering began.

By 8 a.m., I was yelling, "MOVE! MOVE!" and shoving little people out the door and into the van.

At Sunday School, the kids made Mother's Day flowers with big construction paper leaves that read: "You are a blessing because..." and blank spaces for them to thoughtfully pen loving sentiments.

The Deuce handed me her flower. The leaf read:

"You are a blessing because... your farts make mine smell like flowers."

Not exactly what I was expecting.

Okay, so #1 on my list: A bust.

To be continued...