From the inside looking out.

I had a realization the other day.

For the longest time, my time, energy and attention were directed inward, toward me and my kids. I was squarely focused on making sure I was meeting the basic needs of my household. I had to. It was an all-consuming, 24/7 task. And as a single mom, there just wasn't enough of me to spare.

I always felt bad, putting such a small amount in the offering basket, or passing up the chance to volunteer to help others. But I just didn't have the time, energy or resources to go beyond what was needed to keep my head afloat.

I mentioned that since marrying Mark, I now have been given the gift of time. I'm not in a mad dash to get the kids to and from school, run errands and do the housework. I actually have some breathing room now. And I've been using that time to explore new hobbies and begin finding ways I can give back and help others.

I recently learned about a group of women in my community who make birthday cakes for residents of homeless and battered women's shelters. I read about them in the paper and was moved to tears at the thought of someone -- especially a child -- having a birthday under such circumstances. Knowing that this was something I could do, I immediately reached out to the group's organizers and offered my help.

Since then, I've baked two cakes.

One was for a teenage girl, who the program coordinators said had made tremendous progress in turning her life around. While I don't know details, she'd apparently worked hard to make a fresh start and they were very proud of her. I felt honored to make her cake.

Last weekend, we made a birthday cake for a first-grade boy who was living at a battered women's shelter with his mom. I wouldn't be able to deliver his cake because the shelter's location is a secret. Instead, I delivered it to a predesignated drop-off person who delivered it for me.

As I mixed the cake batter, I thought about the boy, close in age to my own son. I thought about his mom and how she must've felt not being able to make a cake for him herself. And I got a little misty when I added the chocolate chips.

Ultimately, I feel proud to be able to finally give back. Since receiving my gift of time, I've volunteered to help turn my church's Sunday school program around, and now I'm a volunteer baker for this heartwarming program.

What's surprised me most is how incredible reaching out can be. I mean I knew I'd feel good, but I just didn't know how rewarding it would be.

I used to be inwardly focused because I had to. I had no choice. But now, with the gift of time, I'm learning that looking out and helping others has its distinct rewards. It helps others and it warms your soul, all at the same time.

I feel a bit like a flower that's just bloomed. Like a guest who's late to the party.

It makes me wonder: How do others give back? What do you do with your time and talents that makes you feel good? What else could I be doing?