No, not like Footloose.

Okay, so I told a few co-workers that Mark and I aren't having a traditional wedding reception. We're not going to do the big hall with 175 guests, grazing on a buffet of sliced beef. And we're not planning on having a DJ play all the same, predictable songs. (That was my first wedding, by the way.)

Instead, this'll be more of an intimate family celebration.

Well somehow, the innocent disclosure of having no DJ has created a rumor that dancing is not allowed at our wedding.

Folks, this ain't Footloose.

If our guests want to dance, by all means, they can dance. There will be music, great music, but not a DJ spinning Mony, Mony or songs from the movie Grease.

Nah, Mark and I aren't against dancing. We're just not dancers. Neither of us are. And, upon reviewing the guest list, most of our guests aren't either.

Well, wait. To be fair, my step dad is one helluva dancer, especially to a good polka. And, also notable are my brother and sister-in-law. They're exceptional dancers. Just play Meatloaf's Paradise by the Dashboard Light and they're both up, out of their seats, putting on an impressive show. Talk about stamina!

But aside from them, I think very few, if any, would even miss a DJ.

I supposed Mark and I could go take dance lessons, but I fear they'd be wasted on me. I've got no sense of timing. I'm so bad, I've ruined countless aerobics classes because I can never find the beat. When I was in the spring musical in high school, my dance partner had to put in extra hours, trying to teach me just the most basic of steps.

"Jess," he said. "I'm afraid you will never be a Solid Gold dancer."

To this day, it stings.

If Mark and I were talented dancers, we'd do something spectacular, like this:

(Give it about 35 seconds.)

...but sadly, we're not.

Our dancing is best done alone in my kitchen, not on a dance floor with a crowd of onlookers.

No, this no-dancing thing isn't planned to make a statement. It's more to allow Mark and me to save face. It's our special day. We shouldn't have to be subjected to such torture - and frankly, neither should our guests.