I guess I'm just mean then.

While the poll results indicate I’m not an overprotective mom – that my intentions are to save my babies from untold dangers are well within reason – I have been dubbed The Meanest Mom in the World by my kids more than once this week.

Was I mean for not letting them risk life and limb to get to Chicago’s Shedd Aquarium with their scatter-brained troop leader? No. But my new stance on Scholastic Book orders opens the door for debate.

Remember Scholastic Books?

The colorful, comic-book-like brochures of books and trinkets they sell to grade school kids? I ordered them as a kid. I remember the thrill and excitement of browsing through the little catalog of books, trying to decide what to order. But the best part was delivery day. It felt like Christmas when my teacher would hand out our orders.

I remember ordering and reading Shoeshine Girl by Clyde Robert Bulla when I was in the third grade. It's the first book I can remember that had me riveted. And, it was the first book I ever read that did not have a predictable, cookie-cutter happy ending. It was so dramatic, so different. I got it from Scholastic Books... I remember it exactly.

Well, friends. Times have changed.

While they still make Scholastic Books available to kids, the products offered have greatly expanded.

They now sell toys.

For most of them, you can easily spot the educational value, but some offered are more of a stretch. But even if they were all 100% guaranteed to help my kids jump three grade levels in a week, I simply don't think toys belong in a book order. It's bad enough there are toys at the grocery store. It feels like I can't go anywhere without being solicited.

And now, standing in my own kitchen, Mad Dog and The Deuce are in tears, begging me to buy each of them $30 Nintendo DS games via Scholastic Books. (Yeah, $60 total.) It doesn't matter that we don't even own a Nintendo DS system, all of their friends have them and all of their friends are ordering games.

This leads me to a new series of house rules surrounding Scholastic Book orders:

1. Book orders are for books. This means no teddy bears, necklaces or video games - unless they have pages and a cover.
2. If we order a book - and I mean IF... there’s a $10 limit per kid.
3. Book orders are a privilege, not a right. Kids that misbehave don’t get to place orders.

The last rule is a tag-on to mitigate the whining and complaining associated with rules 1 & 2.

I know this probably does sound mean, but they distribute book orders at least every two months. And these things aren't exactly cheap anymore. Sure, they've still got paperbacks for $3.95, but they also sell sets of books that cost upwards of $20. The most expensive thing I've seen in a catalog was nearly $50.

Sorry, darling. We all have library cards. And, when you're bored with all the books we've checked out, we'll return them and get another batch for free.

So, all this has reinforced my standing as The Meanest Mom in the World. I dunno. It doesn't really bother me. I've decided to embrace it. So, every other month at my house, expect to hear a conversation like this:

"Mom, can I get the texting pen set?"

"What is it?"

"They are pens that have little keyboards on them. I can text my friends."

"How much does it cost?"

"$19.95."

"Is it a book?"

"Uh...no. But all my friends are getting them - so we can text each other in class."

"No deal. It's got to be a book and it's got to cost $10 or less."

"You're so mean!" (Storms off to flop on her bed and sob.)

** Sigh. ** Remind me to write a thank you note to the principal.