PreggoQuest 2010: Cheesy crackers

Warning: Yet another preggo-inspired post. And this one's fairly lame.

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This afternoon I had an overwhelming craving for cheese crackers. Goldfish, Tid-Bits, Cheese-Its -- whatever. All I knew is that I wanted those crackers and had to have them.

Mark called to ask me a question about a letter I was working on for him. (We work together.)

"Hi, I was wondering if--"

"Don't Goldfish Crackers sound good right now?" I asked, interrupting him. I continued on, barely taking a breath:

"I mean REALLY good and I could totally go for some right now but all I have in my desk are gummy bears and I really want something salty and cheesy and crunchy couldn't you because I know there are some pretzels in the vending machine but they're not cheesy so that won't work and the only other thing remotely close are the animal crackers but they're not salty or cheesy and won't cut it either so I suppose I could run across the street to the store and get some cheese crackers but I really shouldn't because I've gotta finish your letter but I just can't get those crackers out of my mind and I think I'm going to go crazy unless I get some really I am."

Silence on the other end. I continued:

"Isn't it funny how just the other day all I could think about were these gummy bears but now I don't want them because they're too sweet and will just stick in my teeth which is why I want those crunchy crackers but they have to be cheesy. And salty."

I took a breath and rambled on:

"I'm going to go and check the vending machine again you know just in case it recently got stocked see you later."

I hung up on him and made a break for the elevator.

I ran into a co-worker and asked if she knew where I could score some cheesy crackers. She glanced around to see if anyone was nearby and, in a hushed voice, told me about a vending machine in the other building on our campus that had all sorts of exotic goodies. She explained that because the machine is near the 24/7 call center, it was well-stocked with junk food and was way better than the machines in our building -- machines full of heart-healthy options like pretzels, sunflower seeds and low-fat wafers.

Just then, the light bulb above my head lit up. Mark works in that building and was probably sitting less than 400 feet from cheesy crackers.

I excused myself and darted back to my desk (darting as quickly as a preggo can dart) and dialed Mark. Before I could say a word, he told me he'd checked the vending machine, found some Cheese-Its and successfully procured them. Just for me.

By this time, it was nearly time to go, so I grabbed my keys and sprinted (sprinting as quickly as a preggo can sprint) to the van where Mark met me, cheesy crackers in hand. He opened the package and took a step back to avoid losing a digit or getting sprayed by flying crumbs, I'd imagine.

I devoured the bag in .3 seconds.

I love that man. Even more than cheesy crackers -- and that's a lot.