#2 Mad Dog (twin A, the eldest by 4 minutes, which totally counts)
#3 The Deuce (twin B and self-pitying middle child)
#4 Crowbar (little brother extraordinaire)
#5 Bandit & Libby, resident canines (a tie)
The post-baby chain of command looks a little different.
For one, Sweet Pea is now in the mix:
And the dogs have been replaced by houseplants.
What happened, you ask. Where do the dogs rank? Well, frankly, they've got some making up to do to get back onto the list.
And it's not for their lack of effort to be heard. These dogs are barkers.
Bandit, a little Pomeranian poodle mix, was a barker from day one. Her favorite pastime is barking. She barks at passing cars, walkers, and leaves blowing in the yard. She barks when she thinks a leaf may blow across the yard. Barking is what she does and she's good at it.
Translating Bandit's shrill, high-pitched barks into words goes something like this:
HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY!
Libby, the golden doodle, learned to bark from Bandit. She started out a quiet and subdued dog, but soon began barking whenever prompted by the little one.
Her translated barks go like this:
HEY! WHAT IS IT? WHY ARE WE BARKING? I DON'T GET IT, BUT I CAN'T STOP, CAN'T STOP, CAN'T STOP BARKING! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK!
At first, the barking was mildly annoying. We'd half-heartedly say, "Quiet!" and then procrastinate about working with the dogs to stop.
But now as I'm home on my maternity leave, I'm in the house all day long and realize the barking is worse than I'd previously imagined. If allowed, those two would sit in the front window and bark all day.
It's non-stop. It's ear splitting. It's got to end.
I've tried squirting them with a water bottle while shouting, "QUIET!" I've attempted to remove them from the window altogether. (They somehow manage to break out of my back-of-the-house barrier and return to their post.) And now, I'm zapping them with a device that emits a shrill sound only dogs can hear. The last option provides only limited success.
So, until I can figure out how to train them to stop barking or have their barkers surgically removed, the dogs don't even rank on the pecking order list.
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2 comments:
Ha ha ha!!!! Yes, that's like the totem pole at our house. :)
Baxter taught Ben to bark more. He also taught Ben that stinky diapers can be a delicious treat. Eww.
A guy at work swears by the loud startling noise method to curb barking. For example, fill a 20 oz. plastic soda bottle with nuts, bolts, etc and throw it in the vicinity of the dogs when they start barking. If they don't see you throw it, they are scared and confused where the bottle came from. Might be worth a try.
What about throwing the bottle of nuts and bolts at the dogs? (Kidding.)
Actually, the electronic bark thing seems to be working. This AM the school bus came and went and they never made a peep.
(Thank you God!)
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