F---ing cable company

$140? Seriously?

Give me a break. Every time I write a check to my local cable company, I feel like I've made a deal with the devil.

I hate the cable company. I hate their service (spotty at best), I hate their customer service department (the not-at-all helpful help desk) and I hate their commercials promoting low, introductory deals that are 75% less than what I paid last month.

Trouble is, I love cable TV. I don't know what I'd do without it.

I love shows like Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D List and It's Me or the Dog. I love The Weather Channel (weather anytime!) and TLC, the Discovery Channel and Food Network. (I could do with a little less Rachel Ray, but still...)

I feel like I'm over a barrel, taking it up the a$$ while enjoying a 24-hour marathon of What Not to Wear. ("Come on, Amy! Let's hoist the girls back up into place with a new bra!")

I don't know whether to laugh or cry. To upgrade my package or file assault charges.

Maybe I just need to pay my bill while watching my favorite shows. That might ease the pain. Maybe I'll be so high from watching back-to-back episodes of VH1 Classic's 120 Minutes, that I won't care. I'll be too busy, absorbed by the drama of Miami Ink or Kat Von D's spin off: LA Ink.

Oh, screw it. I'm tired of complaining. I wonder what's on TV...