The Big Blow Off.

In my house, every other sentence from my kids either begins with:

A) "I want ____." or
B) "I don't want to ____."

It can get quite tiresome. Whether we're at home or out and about, they're constantly telling me they want/don't want something.

Now, I don't frequently give in to their requests, so I'm a little surprised that they keep asking me. It's not like I roll over and say, "Okay," each time they say they want McDonald's for dinner or a new toy or to go to grandma's.

And I don't bend when they tell me they don't want to go to school, eat their vegetables, or go to bed at 8:30. You'd think getting shot down so often, they'd just stop asking. But they don't. They're eternally hopeful, I guess.

Normally when I turn down the request, I give a reason.

"No, we can't eat at McDonald's tonight, I've got a healthy dinner planned at home." Or "I know you don't want to take a bath, but look at your feet. They're dirty."

I generally try to give them the WHY behind the no.

Well, Mark's got a different approach. I like to call it The Big Blow Off.

It goes like this:

Kid: I want a laptop computer.

Mark: I want my own talk show.

Kid: I want my own bedroom.

Mark: I want my own talk show.

Kid: I want a new backpack.

Mark: I want my own talk show.

No matter what the want is, his answer is the same. He wants his own talk show.

He also has a Big Blow Off response for the don't want to's.

Kid: I don't want to go to bed.

Mark: I don't want to pay taxes.

Kid: I don't want to go to the grocery store.

Mark: I don't want to pay taxes.

Kid: I don't want to do my homework.

Mark: I don't want to pay taxes.

The first time I heard it, I thought it was a little weird. And the first time the kids heard it, they were totally speechless. The Big Blow Off is a real conversation killer.

For a while I just shrugged my shoulders. It's not exactly how I choose to respond to their requests, but it's not like it's mean or hurtful. Like I said, it's just kind of weird.

But then, one day, as I was picking the girls up from school, I realized the effectiveness of The Big Blow Off. The Deuce hoped into the van and said, "I want to ride the bus home from school." Then, not a second later she added, "And Mark wants his own talk show."

Holy shit. She opened and closed the conversation herself, and I didn't even need to say a word.

A few days later, it happened again.

"I want to go to Wal-Mart. And Mark wants his own talk show."

The topic was opened, then shut. And I never said a peep. There was no reasoning, no bargaining - nothing.

While I think it can still be helpful to explain the WHY behind things, to Mark's credit, there are some times when it's just not necessary. And that's the beauty of The Big Blow Off.

We all want things. But we don't always get them. Hell, I want a free trip to Hawaii, but do I think that's gonna happen?

Sometimes it is, because it is.

Period.