You and Dad? Married? Now that's screwed up.

The twins were five years old when I got divorced.

I remember holding up a hand and, pointing to my five fingers, explained that no matter where Dad lived, the five of us would always be a family (belonging to the same hand). I checked out and read countless library books to help them understand what was happening. We shared many long conversations about how Dad and I wanted to just be friends instead of husband and wife.

In short, we talked about it a lot. And while it was tough on them, I made sure they knew they were well-informed, loved and safe.

Crowbar was just a baby at the time. While present, he wasn't exactly an active participant in these discussions. He was 5 months old and had no concept of what was happening to our family or why.

When he'd wake me in the middle of the night, I'd hold him alone, rocking him, crying and apologizing for what was happening to our family and how his life would change. But he was far too young to understand me.

- - -

Fast forward five years, to much happier times...

- - -

The other day, I was alone with the kids, driving in the van. The twins began talking about a house we used to live in before the divorce, back when Dad and I were married.

Crowbar nearly jumped out of his seat.

"You and Dad were married?!" he asked, incredulously. "Married. To Dad. Married?"

He spit out the words with shock, surprise, and a hint of disgust. He just couldn't place the two of us together.

"Dad with Gus (Dad's dog). And you... married?" He'd never heard of anything so absurd.

It was at that moment I realized I never really explained why our living arrangement was the way it was. I never had That Talk with him, to help him understand why his dad didn't live with us

His life is the way it is, because it just is.

Crowbar knows he's got a Mom, a Dad and a Mark and that never once seemed weird or the least bit abnormal to him.

It just shows we've come a long way in our society. Non-traditional families aren't freakish or unusual. They're not even remotely dysfunctional. They just are.

Divorce is never a happy event. The collapse of a marriage shouldn't be taken lightly -- especially when kids are involved. But this recent event goes to show that divorce in and of itself doesn't screw up kids.

Parents who handle divorce poorly screw up kids.

Our post-divorce family life isn't sad or tragic. It's filled with happiness, love and laughter -- lots of laughter -- both at our house and over at Dad's place.

The kids aren't moping around here, wishing or scheming to get their parents back together, a la The Parent Trap. They're good with how things are. And so am I.

Co-parenting with an ex isn't always easy, but it doesn't have to be hard. Or messy. And I think Crowbar's reaction to envisioning his parents together is proof that we're handling things well.

Possibly a little too well.